[ HOME ] [ NEXT ] [ BACK ]
Have the courage to say 'no' to your children
Train your children to digest disappointments, denials and refusals.
Modern life is not only
competitive but also stressful in many aspects. Children have to
gradually adapt themselves to this demanding environment at some point
of time. This is exactly why parents need to train their young ones
accordingly. Children must be taught to take a `no’, not only from
parents but also friends, teachers, neighbours and even strangers.
Discipline begins at home
Some parents tend to pamper
children unreasonably. Abundance of anything, ranging from toys,
games, sweets and chocolates, spoils children at a very young age. In
fact, research has shown that children brought up in over-affluent
families tend to lose their faculty of imagination. Since they have
too much on their platter, it becomes difficult for them to yearn for
anything. Therefore, parents should not bombard their children with
more than what is needed. The need for this inherent discipline has to
be internalized by parents themselves. Parents should be prepared to
prepare their children for the rough and the smooth in life.
Never satisfy all demands
Although parents derive immense
satisfaction from fulfilling their children’s wishes, they should
deliberately leave some wishes unfulfilled. If every whim and fancy of
the child is entertained, the child grows up to be a very
self-centered person. Even a single `no’ can put him or her off
balance. Such children take their whims to an illogical extent. For
instance, if they fancy a person who does not reciprocate their
feelings, they may get violent out of frustration. Or they might not
be able to digest rejection in a job interview later in life. Over
pampered children are also prone to acute depression mainly because
they cannot take disappointments in the right spirit.
Never encourage comparisons
Parents should always discourage their child’s tendency to compare his or her material assets with other children. For instance, if a child demands a toy merely because a neighbour has got a new one, such a craving should not be entertained. Such children end up constantly comparing themselves with other people. Parents have to curb this tendency at a very early stage.
Appeasement does not have long-term effect
In order to keep their daily
routine hassle-free, parents tend to please children. However, overt
appeasement has short-term gains. Children tend to lose respect for
their parents. They look upon parents as mere scarecrows. The policy
does not pay in the long run. Therefore parents should not enter into
a popularity contest. They must have the courage to call a spade a
Never give in out of guilt
Some parents tend to please
children out of guilt. For instance, a working mother comes home late.
She is harried. She does not have time for attending to the child’s
homework. The child asks for an ice cream after dinner. Despite
knowing the fact that an ice cream can cause a bad throat, the mother
gives in. The child is smart enough to know the reason behind the
bribe/favour. This scenario is universally applicable. Therefore,
parents should not let guilt get the better of them. They must have
the courage to face the child’s tantrums.
[ HOME ] [ NEXT ] [ BACK ]